DAUGHTER: NOT A BURDEN NEITHER A CURSE
Before Islam, arabs used to kill their daughters and the birth of a girl was considered as a curse. It was tradition to bury the newborn girls alive.
“When news is brought to one of them, of(the birth) of a female (child), his face darkens, and he is filled with inward grief, with shame he hide himself from his people, because of the bad news he had! Shall he retain it in(sufferance and) contempt, or bury it in the dust? Ah! What an evil (choice) they decide on? “(Alquran, 16:58_59).
Islam rejected all these cruel attitudes and regarded the birth of a girl as a blessing from Almighty Lord. Quran condemns the cruel act of killing girls and holds the deors answerable for their sinful deed.
” And when the female infant buried alive is asked, for what sin she was killed “(Alquran, 81:8_9)
And the prophet said, “Allah has forbidden you
1) to be undutiful to your mothers
2) to withhold(what you should give) or
3) demand(what you do not deserve), and
4) to bury your daughter’s alive. ” (Sahi bukhari, 78:5975).
Children are a gift from Almighty Lord and Almighty doesn’t discriminate between two genders. Therefore, in Islam, there is no distinction of bringing up a boy or a girl. A female child enjoys personal freedom, individual identity, freedom of choice, right to education and marriage.
Like boys, girls should also be brought up and trained with pleasure and religious satisfaction. According to many Ahadiths;parents who brought up their daughter’s in a good way, treat them with love, feed them, educate them, and arrange a good marriage for them, they deserve paradise.
m to father
I ain’t a burden father
I am the heart beat of my mother;
Creator made me bit weak
My heart is always in Almighty, s seek;
Don’t sell me in name of marriage
Neither need gold nor any carriage;
M a caterpillar weaving my dreams, let me grow
So that I can fly high and blow;
M always being questioned where and why?
I too have rights to laugh and cry;
Save me from this cruel world
“Will enter paradise” As He told;
M a blessing not a curse
Trust in Allah, have faith on his verse…
In today’s society much like the old practices , daughters are usually considered as a burden on their parents. Talking about Kashmir, girls are treated as burdens and are humiliated in many areas.
Many questions arise in a father’s mind; what if daughter gets married I have to pay dowry? On one hand we have educated her and now we need to marry her too? I have fixed your marriage and you don’t any choice other than marrying ? You can’t go out for further studies?
Why are always girls being questioned?
It’s very strange that today where everything in India is Modernizing either in the field of technology or other sectors, but still for some of us girl is a blessing and for some of us it’s a curse.
In this era, I don’t find any difference between the abilities of a boy and a girl, their isn’t any milestone left that a girl child hasn’t achieved till now. But still some of us think that girl child is a curse.
Many parents in India either in cities or in villages think that it is a wastage of money to educate girl child but the same thing doesn’t applies for a boy child.
Why all the basic rights are awarded to only a boy whereas girl has equal right to get the basic amenities. Why many families save money only for marriages of girl child not for their education?
A girl who with her one smile can make someone happy with care and concern can make someone, s day and with her love can win hearts.
A girl today is forward in every thing. She today is no more limited to the four walls of her house. She is pilot, chef, doctor, teacher etc. Indeed a girl is not only a house maker but one who can run the country. She is a person who is filled with enormous talent of multi _tasking patience.
Understanding, hardworking and deterination. She is a complete package of perfection but yet simplicity.
Every Indian family wants a boy who can be a support to them and carry forward the family name. The indiscrimination against girl doesn’t end with her family that after marriage she is tortured for dowry and even killed. In our society even in villages girls are forced to get married on their parents choice.
Many parents fix the marriage without asking their daughters but any forced marriage will be cancelled according to Islamic history when the forced marriages were declared null and void. Islam does not consider any woman to be the possession of any man.
The Quran describes this as a sacred, loving and calm relationship between two genders
Especially a girl is not supposed to go against the decisions of the family elders about her marriage, her freedom to choice for her mate is considered immoral.
A refusal of parents choice might result into severe treatments towards her. She might be tortured psychology and emotionally, physically. Many cases have also been reported where the girls life is at risk who tries to choose her mate herself. In ma
y areas after few months or years of marriage girl kills herself or she is being abused and humilated by her in_laws, on many reasons whether it’s dowry or any other reason.
Every parent must trust on his daughtersvand listen to their every talk, in hurry we must not get selfish and make the life of our daughters hell.
“O! Mankind, we have created you from male and female; and we have divided you into tribes and sub_tribes for greater facility of communication. Verily, the most honoured among you in the sight of Allah is he who is the most righteous among you. Surely, Allah is All_knowing, all_aware” (Al_quran, 49:14).
There are many serious issues, which as whole violate many important rights granted by islam and other human right conventions. Islam is very clear about status of woman in a Muslim society on the basis of equality and equity.
I suggest that the one who thinks girls as a curse must study Islam in a more optimistic way ignoring or arguing those so called Muslim scholars who present Islam according to the cultural or traditional needs.
When common people will get a clear Picture and understanding of Islam, they will be motivated to honor status of a woman and respect every woman as a blessing from Almighty not a curse.
Qamrun Nisa
Writer is pursing BA at women’s college anantnag.
Email : [email protected]
