Suhail Khan
Srinagar, Nov 17: The practice of ‘Manzimyoor’ in arranging marriages in Kashmir has, unfortunately, transformed into more of a business rather than a noble cause. The focus on monetary gains has somewhat overshadowed their original purpose, raising questions about the integrity and authenticity of their motives.
In Kashmir, matchmakers, locally known as “Manzimyoor,” have traditionally played a crucial role in arranging marriages for families. However many families have alleged matchmakers of being fraudsters and cheaters, looting them in the name of money.
Kashmir Despatch Correspondent reached out to many families who claim to have become victims of these matchmakers, alleging their fake and fraudulent actions that resulted in significant losses, not just in financial terms, but also emotionally.
One family in north Kashmir, who chose to remain anonymous, accused a matchmaker of fraud and cheating, claiming that the matchmaker’s deceit caused them great distress. They said that the information provided by the matchmaker about the man their daughter was married to was false, leading to the termination of the relationship just a week after the wedding.
Sajad (name changed), the father of the girl, expressed gratitude to Almighty Allah for revealing the truth. He while talking the this Correspondent mentioned the trauma his family went through and the difficulty of abruptly ending a relationship that had started on a happy note. He emphasized the importance of not blindly trusting matchmakers and urged people to verify information themselves before making any decisions. He also said that such incidents can happen to anyone, regardless of gender.
In another similar case, a man in another Kashmir district fell prey to the same fraudulent practices of a matchmaker.
In a conversation with this correspondent, the man (name withheld), a government employee, shared his ordeal. He explained that the matchmaker had introduced him to a potential partner, with everything being based on the matchmaker’s words and information. However, shortly after their engagement, the situation took a dramatic turn. The woman he was supposed to spend his life with turned out to have been engaged to four men in the past. This revelation not only caused emotional distress but also financial burden, as they had to pay money to sever ties with the woman’s family.
The government employee told this Correspondent the need to not trust matchmakers blindly and advised both genders to independently verify the authenticity of potential partners.
He shared his personal experience of facing challenges and issues due to the matchmaker’s fraudulent practices.
There have been numerous similar cases reported in other districts of Kashmir, which undoubtedly serve as a reminder for people to exercise caution and be careful before relying solely on the words of matchmakers. However, it also serves as a strong message for all of us to verify things and ensure their authenticity before taking the plunge in marriage.
In light of such incidents involving fraud and deceit, people in Kashmir are also turning to digital platforms for matchmaking. Websites and apps such as Kashmirishaadi.com, eManzimyoor, and Humsafar provide online matrimonial services.
One such app, eManzimyoor, was launched during the COVID-19 pandemic and aims to provide individuals with more options to find life partners without intermediaries. It specifically caters to Kashmiris living abroad who wish to marry someone from their own community.
The app, created by US-based Qazi Musaib Ahmad, has already successfully facilitated around 300 matches.
In the past, the transgender community in Kashmir played a significant role in the match-making business, despite facing social stigma and limited opportunities. They actively contributed to society by assisting those in need.
Suhail Khan is a filmmaker, content writer, and freelance journalist.
